It's been just over a week (sitting in the exact spot where I am sitting now) since I had my seizure and just under a week since I started popping Dilantin again. It took a couple of days (the half life of the drug is 22 hours) before it whacked me, but it's done the job now.
I spend most of the day in a slight haze that feels not terribly dissimilar to the hazy aura I get right before a seizure. I find my patience, something that I have been very happy about developing over the last several months, to be easily worn thin. I guess that at least some of my "progress" of late had more to do with not taking Dilantin than it did a great spiritual and psychological breakthrough. The fear of not eating, and thereby setting off another seizure is taken care of; I find myself constantly hungry and perpetually tired. I just read someone else describe this feeling as "tired but wired" and that's as good a description as I have ever seen. My brain goes ever around in circles and there is no straight line of thinking. I find myself doing the same tasks over and over again while letting other things fall by the way.
Basically... this sucks.
In the words of Huey Lewis... "I want a new drug!"
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5 comments:
surfing could be that drug
I think you already pointed out the possible problem with that.
http://www.surfline.com/reports/report.cfm?id=4127
...worth the risk baby.
sorry you are feeling sucky. this getting older thing does have it's down sides, but hey, it beats the options. hang in there baby!
acid??????
watching the sunrise and sunset from the coast may be even better.
wishing you well
It's been hard to know how to respond with anything that doesn't sound polly-anna-ish or effete or treacly. Maybe all there is some heartfelt wishes and prayers for a sense of Presence in the Advent darkness, which comes in all forms it seems. You are hels in love in many places in this cosmos...en
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