Friday, May 19, 2006

The 20 ton elephant in the room

It's been a pretty good week. It started out a little bumpy, but with a lot of emotional heft, some help from friends, some good news in business and a generally fabulous week of spring weather the post-jazzfest/pre-hurricane blues have receded a bit and the basic loveliness of New Orleans has shone through.

Despite that... there is no way to get the nagging feeling of something sitting on the event horizon just waiting to march its way north. It 's a reality that sits beneath almost every conversation, every plan, all the mayoral debates and even minor personal considerations. Columnist Chris Rose, in his inimitable fashion, addresses it again in his wonderful column this morning.

For me... a twisted jocularity attaches itself to the timorous anticipation and a sort of graveyard humor manifests itself musically at odd times of the day and night. At other times the foreboding is darker and tears of sadness and/or dread rise to the surface at odd moments.

Everybody has these stories... as I am writing this right now, the announcer on WWOZ just made the comment, "half the city's on Paxil" and followed it with a Public Service Announcement about seeking psychiatric attention.

Everyone is experiencing the same thing; a kind of post-traumatic stress that you think has finally gone away suddenly shows up on your doorstep, or in the back seat of your car, or on the bar stool next to you; the tears flow all over again, and the sense of worry rises to the surface. You beat it back with cheerleading... magical thinking... prayer (if you're the praying type)... drink (if you're the drinking type) and, as always, music.

Nevertheless... it's there, it's not leaving, and it wants something to eat.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I the last analysis, it's all about the music...en

Thom said...

As they sau around here... yeah, you right.