Dances with Dubya

Back on Thursday, after two weeks without work, and several hundred dollars in expenses (gas is running over $3.00 and Pat's van is not exactly a gas saver), I decided that I would apply to FEMA for some kind of assistance. The process of applying is something I will describe elsewhere, but after switching from my Mac to the required PC with Microsoft Explorer, I was finally able to complete the application after four tries and several hours. The end of the process tells you to check back in 24 hours.

Cut to Saturday morning... I log back on to the FEMA site where I am told that to check my status I must have an ISAAC account. So I attempt to set that up, but fail... twice. The website then directs me to call FEMA to "resolve this problem." I call FEMA and much to my shock and amusement I only have to wait on hold for five minutes while I listen to, appropriately, The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies. The woman - Shirley - who I speak to is quite delightful and amazingly non-governmental. I'm thinking, "okay... this won't be so bad." But then, Shirley drops the bomb.

"I'm sorry," she says, "you need the HELP DESK for that, and the HELP DESK has not been set up yet."

"Well," I begin, "when WILL the HELP DESK be set up?"

"Not for at least two weeks."

"So, since I have already put in my application I can't get any help until the HELP DESK is activated?"

"That is correct sir..."

The conversation went on from there and Shirley told me that she thought the system could work a lot beter if the administrators would listen to the people on the front lines. WOW! What a concept!

I get off the phone just in time to hear the new news story that Mike Brown - head of FEMA - has been moved from work in immediate relief in New Orleans, where he seems to have redefined the term SNAFU, and returned to Washington where he will oversee... drum roll please... the APPLICATIONS PROGRAM. That is of course after he takes some time off and has a Margarita.

What I'm wondering right now.. .is whatever happened to the "nation's CEO," as Dubya was so fond of referrinng to himself back in the early days of his administration. I guess, right now, he's just too busy dancing.